Trey Easley:
Hi. Welcome to another episode of Resilience Reborn. My name is Trey Easley. I have a special guest here today. Happy to have him. His name is John Strock. He’s here to help people out there that might be trying to recover from alcoholism. He struggled with alcohol for many years, and he’s here to talk about that.
Trey Easley:
So we’re happy to have you. Thanks for coming on, John.
John Strock:
To be here, Trey. Thank you.
Trey Easley:
Yeah. Absolutely. So, John, if you wanna just kinda start kind of where you think your story begins, kind of, maybe when you started thinking you had a problem or even before that, if there was Yeah. Anything. I know there’s always some kind of a trigger or something that might happen, you know, early on in life. So what kind of brought you here to be able to tell your story?
John Strock:
Yeah. I mean, I think a lot of our stories are similar. You know, we’re gonna find the kind of threads that go through. But for me, you know, I grew up in a military family, which is wonderful. We moved around all over the place, so it helped me kinda be able to get to know people quickly, things like that. I remember, like, my first drink was, like, in a, you know, on a just like a we shared a 40 ounce, like, Budweiser between, like, three of us on a golf course in the middle of the night one time. But that was, like, you know, so I started drinking kinda early, but not not heavily, not not much, not often, until, like, my senior year in high school. I part you know, started partying
Trey Easley:
Yeah.
John Strock:
Hanging out. Still nothing crazy, but just, you know, we would go out and, you know, just have fun, you know, do bonfires, whatever. Just just high school stuff. And then I went to college. I went to a military college, in Virginia, and I, there’s no alcohol out there. There’s nothing you can’t do there. Oh. Oh, wow.
John Strock:
So you find ways to get real creative about it. So that’s probably where I learned to get real sneaky about alcohol. Yeah. Because you gotta hide everything. You’ve gotta cover it up, and you can’t have anything laying around. So, you know, I kinda got into that sort of mindset, I think, started there. Fast forward, you know, through my twenties, I was always part of a kind of a really bingey crowd. You know, my friends, we drink a lot.
John Strock:
You know, we go a couple happy hours a week. Then we’re always out Thursday, Friday, Saturday. It’s just binging. You know?
Trey Easley:
We don’t
John Strock:
start rinse and repeat. You know?
Trey Easley:
And I feel like that is what a lot of people begin to like, especially in their college years or twenties. But for some reason, there’s some of us that just keep on rolling and some that just like, yeah. No. I’m too old for that. You know? Yeah. So it’s just interesting. So yeah.
John Strock:
Yeah. And it’s funny because, you know you know, my friends were all drinking the same. Right? I would still like, I caught myself starting to hide taking a shot or something around those guys when Yep. They’re just doing it out in the open. So I’m sorry to already kinda get in that mindset. Like, something’s happening. I didn’t realize it at the time. You know? In my twenties also, I lived by myself for the first time in my life as an adult, and I got to the point where I’d I’d stop going out, you know, and I’d I’d just isolate.
Trey Easley:
Isolate. And
John Strock:
I still didn’t realize that was the thing. You know? But I would sit at home and I’d, you know, I don’t really feel like going out tonight. I’m just gonna get a bottle of bourbon and sit here and and I’d, you know, I’ll finish that bottle, you know.
Trey Easley:
Oh, yeah.
John Strock:
And, and that’s kinda how it went, you know. And I did that for a while just kinda, you know, not real as if it was a thing. I didn’t really have people around me every day Mhmm. They were watching me and concerned about me. But I managed, you know, to kinda get through that point. But I just kept in that binge cycle, and there were times kinda thrown out there where I would be like, gosh. You know? I think something’s happening. You know? I kinda started realizing a little bit, but I had to talk myself out of it.
John Strock:
And I remember back in 02/2008, sitting up one night. I’m a hockey player too, so I played, you know, mentally hockey Mhmm. Late at night, get home, you know, 01:30 in the morning. And in those days when I was, you know, in my twenties and thirties, I would, you know, we’d go out after the game, come home, drink some beers. And I remember sitting around one night. I’d been to my game, drank before the game, drank in the locker room after the game, and drank at the bar after the game. Yep. Came home, had a couple beers.
John Strock:
And I’m sitting there like, god. What is happening? You know? Because this is starting to catch up to me. And I and I and I that’s the first time I Googled Alcoholics Anonymous, you know.
Trey Easley:
Okay. Now
John Strock:
That’s the first time I was, this is about 02/2008, so I was probably wondering why can’t I do math? I was about 32
Trey Easley:
Okay.
John Strock:
Something like that Mhmm. At the time. But still years went by after that. You know? I did that a couple of nights where I was like, gosh.
Trey Easley:
It always takes a while
John Strock:
after you
Trey Easley:
First, I kinda start thinking about it. You know?
John Strock:
Anyway, I kept going, and then it turned into hiding in line about it. I was with my, I guess, you know, with my I did have I’ve been with my wife and I for we’ve been together almost, you know, eighteen or twenty years
Trey Easley:
Okay.
John Strock:
You know, dating and stuff like that. So we were living together at that time, and, and that’s kinda when I started hiding my drinking a little bit. You know? Not not crazy, but, you know, I’d I’d, you know, have a couple shots you didn’t know about if we’re going out before and just stuff like that. Started doing that. Started hiding stuff. Started, you know, replacing bottles, things like that. It’s kinda when I remember starting that. And that went on for a long time.
John Strock:
And it let’s fast forward to, you know, where it got really bad. It was, you know, so my date and my last drink was in February. Right?
Trey Easley:
Congratulations on that. That’s great.
John Strock:
Thank you very much. Yeah. So I’m coming up on nine years. Hopefully, we’ll get there
Trey Easley:
That’s right.
John Strock:
In about a month or so. But I got to the point where now I’m drinking all day every day. And I’m drinking and I’m waking up. And if I you know, I don’t wanna get to the end of the story because, like, you know, I would wake up and if I didn’t drink right away, I’d have dry heaves, bloody nose, just shakes. Crazy. Right? This is getting toward the end. Right?
Trey Easley:
Yeah. I know exactly what you’re talking about.
John Strock:
Yeah. And I’d I’d wake up before my wife, you know, and I went well, I wasn’t sleeping well because I was, you know, just
Trey Easley:
Don’t sleep when you drink.
John Strock:
I pass out, but then I’d wake up and I’d be like, you know, whatever. So I kinda wait there and, you know, my wife’s next to me, and I’d have to get up early before her to either get something to drink or go get that, you know, the dry heaves and all that out of my system and pretend I’m okay. Right?
Trey Easley:
Yeah.
John Strock:
I did that for a long time, and I’ve been hiding and lying about it. She would catch me, and I would lie and say, no. No. No. And and, you know, we had talked a little bit about, I think it’s common that, you know, if I’ve heard from in a couple of meetings I’ve been in where where guys, have been in that cycle and there’s someone around them seeing them do this, but they don’t know that they’re drinking like they are. Yeah. So my wife, you know, thought I was having a stroke. You know? Okay.
John Strock:
And, and I was like, oh my gosh. I just think that’s what it is. You know? Because it’s better in my mind to be having a stroke than to be drunk. Right?
Trey Easley:
Of course it is.
John Strock:
So I actually went to a neurologist with her knowing that I didn’t have a stroke. Yeah. But I actually went through the whole process, you know, went to the doctor and, you know, it was just just crazy stuff like that. So So let’s can we go back to,
Trey Easley:
because I really wanna know because I don’t know that I ever had the courage to even Google anything about it. Like, I would go to the liquor store and, you know, I don’t know if you ever noticed it, but there’s a poster behind the register, And it tells you all the things that can go wrong and with your body on the back of that wall. I’ve never seen that. Well, I noticed it one day whenever it was. And ever since then, I’m like, I can’t, I’m not looking at that poster. Because I’m starting to pick through and be like, oh, I got that. I got that. I got that.
Trey Easley:
And so that was just one of those things. It was like, okay. If I don’t read it, it’s not real. Right? So when you finally get to that point let’s even go back kinda before that. Yeah. Like, so you were kinda noticing, first, you started isolating, which is one of the biggest signs Yep. That’s when you because, you know, a lot of times we in the beginning, in our twenties, we go out, we hang out with our friends, having a good time Mhmm. And then can go home and and you know, I would always go home and have a couple of rings, but I’d pass out, and then it’ll be fine.
Trey Easley:
I wouldn’t drink, think about the next day, and then, you know, there’s then you start putting the hair of your doll, hair of the dog in your brain. Right? And then it gets obsessive. But I think it’s very significant when you switch from ” I’m having a good time with all my friends and going out” to “I’m just gonna sit at home. Because that was kinda part of my story was, you know, I bought my first house when I was 18, and no one was there to watch me. So I could sit there and and drink every single night, and I wasn’t hurting the soul
John Strock:
That’s right.
Trey Easley:
In my mind. Right? So I didn’t even realize it at that time. I thought it was just because of the way that I I grew up and saw some of my family, you know, they would come home and have a drink or,
John Strock:
you
Trey Easley:
know and it wasn’t even my immediate family. It wasn’t like my mom, my dad, their spouses. But, I guess, just the other, just I don’t know. It was just kind of the stigma around it. Like, you know, you come home after a hard day or you’re or a good day Mhmm. Or it’s sunny out or it’s cold and rainy. Yeah. You know, whatever it is.
John Strock:
Yeah. Always.
Trey Easley:
So that isolation, I think, is huge. I’m glad you pointed that out. So when you actually googled AA, was it just kind of as if the curiosity were actually thinking about going? Was
John Strock:
I mean, it’s a good question. I think,
Trey Easley:
It’s hard to remember back.
John Strock:
Yeah. I mean, I actually remember it really well. I remember where I was sitting, you know, which is funny because I was hammered at the time. Yeah. You know, a long time ago. But, yeah. So I was curious for sure. Obviously, some part of me knew something was happening.
John Strock:
Some part of me knew that I had a problem, whether I was it got up to my brain or not to admit it. Yep. So obviously, there was, you know, I’d had concerns about myself somewhere, you know, deep down. And, a lot of it was curiosity. A lot of it was probably trying to do this and not have nobody know about it? Is there something else I can do that I want to be in front of people? You know? Like, can I still just do this on my own? You know? Yep. And that’s kinda what I did for a while. Even after having done that, I didn’t change my drinking at all. I’m just, you know, I still do that for a long time, you know? And that was 02/2008, and I didn’t get it. I haven’t stopped drinking till 2016.
John Strock:
So, you know, a long time later. But I think it’s also important to mention isolation too because a lot of people and at the time, I had no idea that was a very common Yeah. Way for people to go when they’re drinking too much, and they don’t wanna be around people, and they don’t wanna be told they’re drinking too much. Yep. They don’t wanna be embarrassed by it. So that and that makes a lot of sense looking back that, you know, I just was at that point and still I didn’t realize it. Right? I didn’t know there was anything wrong with it because, you know, either drinking out or I’m drinking here, you know, it was a difference. Right?
Trey Easley:
There’s a difference.
John Strock:
But there was a big difference. You know? Huge difference. And, but, yeah, I and I did that a lot, you know? And, but, yeah, I think that’s an important thing. And, you know, when, when I just kept going and I got into the cycle of, like you said, hiding in line about it. And for me, there’s, you know, this whole process has been also just a holistic mental health journey for me too because there’s been other things that I’ve had going on that I never knew that were undiagnosed and things like that.
Trey Easley:
Yeah. I mean, essentially, it’s, you know, alcoholism is a symptom. Mhmm. You know, we or as it’s basically you know, there’s always an underlying problem. We’re just covering it up.
John Strock:
That’s right.
Trey Easley:
Whatever it is. Yep. You know? So it’s, and and and I always bring this up to a lot of people because I’ve there’s always the stigma of alcoholics in addicts Mhmm. Which is fine because, you know, you see it in the movies and all this stuff. But it’s there’s there’s really nothing different between, you know, someone who’s overeating or someone who’s a shopaholic or a sexaholic or or whatever they use as their vice
John Strock:
Mhmm.
Trey Easley:
To cover up whatever else is going on. Right. Right? Some people just go to alcohol and and and then, you know, granted, there can be with certain people, the violence and the and, you know, you see that obviously in the movies a lot. I never had any experience with that. Yeah. It was always kind of behind the scenes after everybody went to bed by myself, like you had said.
John Strock:
Mhmm.
Trey Easley:
But it’s important to realize that it’s just not, it’s just not people that drink and do drugs and that there is something that’s that they’re trying to cover up, that they’re they’re they don’t know what it is. Mhmm. But once you find out, it really helps, you know, you move forward.
John Strock:
Yeah. Absolutely. I think it’s important to say that too because for whatever reason, alcohol gets almost the worst stigma than anything else. It does. You know? It took me a long time to be open about it. Five about five years to be open with it. And, but, yeah, I think that’s important. You know, people you know, you’re not drinking like that for no reason.
John Strock:
Right? It’s not just because it’s hereditary or whatever you wanna say it is. There’s something that that you’re escaping from or that you’re, like, you know, trying to get back to or there’s something you’re chasing or
Trey Easley:
or you’re
John Strock:
just trying to bury it. And you’re right. Until you’re ready to find out what that is, then you’re not ready to address your drinking or your drugs or your sex or whatever it is.
Trey Easley:
Yeah.
John Strock:
And it’s funny, you know, when I think about it, when I had quit drinking, but I wasn’t really open about it for a long time with my friends. You know, my close friends didn’t know why. You know, my wife and I were going through IVF at the time. So I’d say, oh, yeah. We’re just, you know, getting healthy for this. Yeah. Always some kind of excuse why I wasn’t drinking. But I kinda had this realization whether it’s true or not.
John Strock:
But for me, I felt like if you were a guy and you’re at a bar and you weren’t drinking or at a party you weren’t drinking, people say, oh, is everything okay?
Trey Easley:
Yeah.
John Strock:
Or is there you know, they automatically go alcoholic. And I feel like if you’re a woman and you’re not drinking, oh, you’re pregnant.
Trey Easley:
Yeah. You know,
John Strock:
It’s kind of like those two things. So so in my head, like, you know, everybody and if I’m not drinking, there’s no other reason other than I’m an alcoholic. And I didn’t wanna face that with my people, right, for a while. So, you know, social activities were super hard. You know? I didn’t wanna, I didn’t wanna get a new group of friends. If you know, my friends are my family. I didn’t wanna, like, leave that behind and try to find a sober crowd to hang with. I didn’t want anyone to change their behavior for me because of something that was going on inside of me.
John Strock:
Yep. Which is unhealthy too. Like, you know, I don’t. I still don’t want people to change their behavior for me, but at the same time, I wasn’t really saying, you know, how much trouble I was in. Yeah. You know, people never understood the depth of it. Right? My wife didn’t and my parents didn’t, and actually that’s a good story too. My what got me into my last day of drinking, and my first real AA meeting was I’d just been going on this path of just drinking and drinking, and I wasn’t working for a while too, so that wasn’t helpful. Mhmm.
John Strock:
So, you know, and this happened more than once. My wife would come home, and I’d be, you know, drunk off my ass and Yep. And denying it and whatever. And I remember this one time she came home and we, she knew I was drinking, and then she was mad and, of course, and for some reason, we we like, let’s go take a walk. We’ll take the dog around the block. And I’m walking the dog around the block, and I had my shoes untied, hammered, stumbling around, and actually, like, tripped, stumbled out of my shoes, fell on my knees. And, you know, here I am, like, oh my god. You know. Yep.
John Strock:
So my wife is, like, over it. Right? So I didn’t know this at the time, but she had hidden my car keys, and she called my parents who are living, you know, about an hour and a half away. Right. Hey. Listen. You guys gotta come up here. So, it’s a good thing she had my keys because when she told me they were coming, that’s the first thing I went for. I was coming up here.
John Strock:
You know?
Trey Easley:
Of course.
John Strock:
So my parents came in. We had a little, basically, an intervention with my wife and my parents. Yeah. And we addressed it, and I, you know, finally was able to say, yeah. You know? That’s what’s happening. I was bawling.
Trey Easley:
Yeah. And tell me, because I had this experience, but how much of a relief to you that you could stop the lies and stop the insanity, like, you actually had someone in your corner? Yeah. Because what I always tell people is alcoholism, especially, is a secret that if you don’t tell, it’ll kill you. If you do tell, you’re risking losing a lot, if not everything. Yeah. So it’s one of those things. It’s like, you know, there’s no good solution except, eventually you are going to be kind of you’ll be out of it and you it’s not as nearly as bad as what you think.
John Strock:
Right.
Trey Easley:
Because the people that really are there to support you show up. Yeah. And the people that don’t will go away.
John Strock:
Yeah.
Trey Easley:
And it’s fine because a lot of people, in my experience, are too close to the line. I don’t know if you ever realize, but there’s people I used to hang out with that were just a little too close to the line, and it’s just not for them. Like, then you know? And I get that. I totally get that. Mhmm. So, I mean, tell me tell me your feelings when you were because I remember mine exactly. When you were tall, you were sitting there and you were talking to your family. What what kinda
John Strock:
I mean, your belief is certainly something that came a little bit later in that event, you know, but at first, it was just like I mean, just it actually was relief because I just let go of that emotion. Right? And, you know, just sitting there with people that cared and loved me. And, you know, I have a really good relationship with my parents. They’ve always been wonderful. So, you know, just having them come, just just having just realized that I was I I’ve been affecting people that I love so much Yeah. Just really hit me hard at that moment because you don’t think about that. Yeah. This is just me, man.
John Strock:
No one I’m getting drunk. What? It doesn’t matter.
Trey Easley:
Everybody else Yeah.
John Strock:
It’s not their thing. I’m not hurting anybody. But you are, man. You are. I was killing my wife. You know? I lost her trust because I lied about it all the time, you know? And I was highly functional. You know? I would, you know, I could hide it, and I would I mean, it’s an unreal amount of I was drinking every day.
Trey Easley:
I mean, you, if you were like me, you could drink a fifth of Easy. And no one would know.
John Strock:
Yep. Absolutely. Yep. Yep. And that’s crazy. Right?
Trey Easley:
It is.
John Strock:
But yeah. So we had that chat and, you know, I don’t remember the whole conversation. I just remember more of the emotion and the feeling. And and, you know, at the end, I was like, god. Yeah. It did feel good to be like, alright. You know? People know, like, I’ve said it out loud. I hadn’t said it since I was an alcoholic at that point, but
Trey Easley:
Right.
John Strock:
We had really addressed the big issue. And, so the next morning, I said, I’m gonna go to AA. And I went and I I got in that room, and
Trey Easley:
it’s
John Strock:
the first time I’ve ever raised my hand in that room. Mhmm. Because we’re a small meeting, and they were asking, you know, giving out chips and stuff. And they said, who’s, you know, who’s twenty four hours? And I look around, and I was raising their hand, and I see this guy next to me. He ends up being a guy named Sheldon. Ended up getting to know pretty well. See his hand go up real slow. Yep.
John Strock:
I looked at him, and I raised my hand real slow. And I said, how about twelve hours? And she said, that’s great. You know? Go get your chip. You know? So I got my chip. On the way home, I went to the liquor store, and I got a pint of vodka, and I drank it.
Trey Easley:
Sure.
John Strock:
And that’s the last time I drank.
Trey Easley:
Okay.
John Strock:
April twenty second of twenty sixteen after my first AA
Trey Easley:
meeting. Awesome. It and I know that there’s people out there that, you know, they they and I I tell like, even when I I because I just recently spoke at the IOP, which is the intensive outpatient program right across at the hospital. And I was and when I was addressing them and talking to the graduates, and I said I said no one is going to understand you. I said, as great as your therapist, and they were sitting right there as your therapist and your doctors are, they will neither understand you like another alcoholic. Yeah. And or your wife or your kids even. Like, you have to rely on other people who have recovered and gotten sober because unless you’ve been there, unless you’ve been to hell, you don’t know what it’s like.
Trey Easley:
Mhmm. You know? So I always tell people that it’s just it’s very and I’ve had doctors even talk because I have doctors in some of my mastermind groups.
John Strock:
Mhmm.
Trey Easley:
And they’re just like, you I will never be able to help people like you can. Right? And that that feels good as someone who’s who’s been who’s recovered and, you know, is actively trying to help others in their same situation. Mhmm. But it’s absolutely true. Yeah. You know? It’s absolutely true.
John Strock:
Yeah. And it’s that thought kinda worked to my detriment because I was like, I can’t talk to anybody. My wife doesn’t understand this, you know? But my wife knows me better than anybody. So she understands me. Yeah. So but that wasn’t I didn’t that didn’t click till later, you know, when she was like, you know, and and, you know, she she’s she’s been through, you know, big bouts of depression in her youth and and throughout her life. And that’s another thing people don’t talk about. But she kinda had that sort of stigma.
John Strock:
So she had been through something similar. So we kinda were able to connect on that eventually. But Mhmm.
Trey Easley:
But
John Strock:
you’re right. You’re there, it’s hard to explain to somebody what it feels like. It’s hard to explain to somebody what you do, what your thought process is, and how you feel. Yeah. Even when you’re in early recovery, it’s just it’s so hard to talk to people.
Trey Easley:
I just don’t understand why you can’t put it down. Yeah. You know? It’s like, no. You’re not going to. I love my dad to pieces.
John Strock:
You know, when, you know, I struggle with anxiety and stuff too. And, you know, when I was I would have real bad anxiety, my dad would say, just think about something else. Yeah. When I get anxious, I just think about something else. Well, I was like, dad, you don’t suffer from anxiety. You’re just you’re just worried about something.
Trey Easley:
You know? Yeah. Yeah. Right.
John Strock:
So just stuff like that. But people just don’t understand all these things and, or you think they don’t, at least. But but but it’s true. Like, the experience that you go through as an addict or an alcoholic is unlike anything else. You know? It’s what you’re facing, like, the worst of yourself or what you think is the worst of yourself. You’re seeing those things. You’re you’re hitting a bottom, you know, and, you’re hitting and hopefully
Trey Easley:
Sometimes. A bottom.
John Strock:
Yeah. Yeah. Several bottoms. Yeah. Yeah. And even though, you know, the way I was drinking was horrendous. I was destroying my body, and I didn’t realize how dangerous it was. I did not go to a detox.
John Strock:
I did not do any kind of outpatient treatment. I didn’t tell my doctor. Good. I had no idea that all that stuff was so dangerous.
Trey Easley:
Yeah. I would
John Strock:
I was dreaming. Shakes, sweating, puking, just brutal. Right? Yep. And it’s real bad anxiety, just all of it. You know? The only thing to take it away, I could take one sip, and that the anxiety is gone. Yeah. And I know that, and it’s right there.
Trey Easley:
Yeah.
John Strock:
So it’s really hard to get through that part of it. But, the thing that happened with me is, you know, I was never open about it. You know. I never told anybody why I wasn’t drinking. Some people never knew I wasn’t drinking, till I hit my five year anniversary. And I was like, you know what? It’s time to tell my story. You know? So
Trey Easley:
Yeah.
John Strock:
I actually went on Facebook, and I posted for the first time. Said, hey. Listen. Here’s something that I’ve gone through. Mhmm. Today, I’m, you know, I’m five years past it. Here’s where I was. Here’s how I’m doing this kinda thing.
John Strock:
And it’s the first time I was ever public about it. Not even my friends didn’t even know. Like Right. I told the world before I told my closest people besides my family. Yeah. And once I did that, it changed everything for me because I went from from shame to having, like, the shame of the stigma that I really just put on myself. It’s such a mental thing. And, but I had this huge stigma.
John Strock:
But when I went and put it out there and put it in a way that, you know, let me help you. Mhmm. My stigma and my shame turned to pride. Yeah. So it went from something I was so ashamed of that I didn’t wanna talk about
Trey Easley:
Yeah.
John Strock:
That I wish was never there to something that, hey, man. I did this. It’s five years
Trey Easley:
Yeah.
John Strock:
That struggle. I mean, I was in a really bad place, man. Like, I was I should’ve died, you know? Right. Really, literally should’ve died. And, here I am. So why should I be ashamed of that? You know?
Trey Easley:
Yeah. And here’s the thing. I think it’s per individual. But then there’s some people that will never talk about it, which is fine. Yeah. That’s their thing. But, it is as if I know the feeling you’re talking about, and I and I always say that, you know, shame can’t exist when you wrap words around it. You know what I mean? You just can’t, it can’t exist in that space anymore because you’ve wrapped words around it.
Trey Easley:
You’ve gotten it right in your head, and then, you know, everybody knows what are you gonna do? Take it back? You’re not gonna ring the bell. Yeah. You know?
John Strock:
And no one’s gonna be like
Trey Easley:
Oh my god.
John Strock:
I can’t believe that’s disgusting. No one’s gonna care. Like, all everybody’s gonna be so proud
Trey Easley:
of you. Because I can guarantee you, ninety percent of people have something that they know or someone in their family that’s struggling. And I can’t tell you how many times I’ve talked about my story to people, and they’re like, yeah. My brother’s dying. He won’t stop. Or my dad died or my uncle passed away.
John Strock:
Yeah. Everybody’s touched by it somehow.
Trey Easley:
Everybody. And it’s it’s very it’s it’s a, you know, we’ve we’ve got friends now where they’re they’re kinda right into the middle of the nasty part. You know? And it’s hard to help the people that are in the middle of someone who’s full fully in their alcoholism or addiction because most times you can’t do anything until they hit their own bottom.
John Strock:
That’s right.
Trey Easley:
I mean, you can talk to them blue in the face. I remember my wife telling me, I think you need to stop drinking or slow your drinking down. The words I heard come out of her mouth was, I need to hide it better. ” That’s exactly what I heard. Mhmm. Right? And so I did. And I was and and I think that’s I’m glad you brought that up too earlier that you you know where you’ve kinda found your like, you started hiding it and getting good at that because I’ll tell you for for especially for families that are listening, we’re very good at hiding at at, you know, extremely well. And I even would hide it from myself and couldn’t find it.
John Strock:
In there too. Yeah.
Trey Easley:
Oh, for sure. I mean, even after I got sober, I remember this basement of our house flooded, and I walked downstairs, and I and I were about a year sober, and I looked down, and I saw six inches of water all over the basement. And I’m like and I thought to myself, I said, would a drink make this better? And I’m like, hell no. Right? So I told Angie, I was like, I’m gonna go get the shop vac. So I go up, get the shop vac. Of course, you gotta empty the dust, take the filter out for water. And I open it up, and there’s a big old ABC bag full of minis in there. Good to meet you.
Trey Easley:
We’re you know, for whatever reason, at least for me, minis were my go to. Easy to get rid of. You know?
John Strock:
Pop it
Trey Easley:
real quick. Yep. So big old bag full of minis, completely full, and I tied it off. I didn’t even think about it. I tied it off. I threw it in the garbage, which was a Friday, and the garbage didn’t go out till Tuesday. And I didn’t once think about that bag in that trash can. And that’s the best feeling in the world going from an obsession to where I couldn’t pass a liquor store without stopping.
Trey Easley:
And if I did pass a liquor store, it’s because there was one a couple miles down the road I knew about. Yeah. To go from that to being able to pick it up, toss it in the trash, and never having a thought about it is the most amazing feeling in the world. Yeah. And I wish everybody could have that feeling, but the truth and reality is there’s just so many deaths and so many so many things because people just can’t find a way to get out of it. And I think, you know, you and I have a similar thing in our story where you’ve had someone there to support you. You’ve been with your wife for eighteen.
John Strock:
Yeah. About that. Yeah. We’ve been married for almost fourteen.
Trey Easley:
Okay. So, we’ve been married. I better think about this because if I get it wrong
John Strock:
We’ll cut that part out.
Trey Easley:
Yeah. But so fifteen years. And, and I wouldn’t if it wasn’t for my wife, you know, obviously, in the very beginning, she was, like, on the cusp of moving on. Mhmm. You know, especially when I, you know, went to get help and was away for forty five days. But she stuck with it, and she saw it through. And it’s I think it’s so important to have that support in your life because I feel like if my family would have left, I’d have probably been dead. Right? Sure.
John Strock:
%.
Trey Easley:
They were just, you know, so that support is huge. Now I will say that I feel like there is a certain point, especially if there’s, like, abusive or or just any of that stuff or putting your kids in a spot where they shouldn’t be Mhmm. That you just have to, you have to leave, and that might be their bottom. Yeah. But, yeah. But I was able to, you know, she was able to stick with me. And, and that’s ultimately what got me through Mhmm. You know, it was that support.
John Strock:
And I think
Trey Easley:
It’s huge. And and support from your close friends and and family too if you’re willing to to to share that,
John Strock:
I think.
Trey Easley:
I did share it with my closest friends and some of the friends I would hang out with all the time. I haven’t really talked to since
John Strock:
Mhmm.
Trey Easley:
Because for whatever reason. And I don’t question that because I get it. It’s like you know? All you can do is clean your side of the street, they say. Right?
John Strock:
Yeah. Yeah.
Trey Easley:
And, but what’s funny is the ones who really came up and were the most supportive were my old drinking buddies from back in my twenties.
John Strock:
That’s wild.
Trey Easley:
I mean, it’s crazy. Yeah. And I’m still to this day. You know? I remember my wife wouldn’t let me sleep here one night, and I went to my buddy’s house. And I woke up the next morning, and he went to work. And I went downstairs, and I was just like, I need a drink. He put a locker around the refrigerator doors where the beer cooler was, and he took all the liquor bottles out of the liquor cabinet Wow. Before he left.
Trey Easley:
And I was like, son of a bitch.
John Strock:
How can he do that to you? Yeah. But
Trey Easley:
he but he but he knew. Right? And this was while I was still active. So little things like that, it goes a long way in the scheme of things.
John Strock:
Yeah. I mean, I I’m the same. I mean, I would have been toast. I and when I would I mean, I I went to AA for, like, the first five years, and the only reason I stopped going was really COVID. Like, I just kinda broke that cycle and, just did other things with my recovery. But, when I would go, I would just wear the same thing. Like, you know, there’s guys in there that are homeless. There’s guys in there that men and women who, you know, are single, have no kids, or whose kids and family won’t talk to them anymore.
Trey Easley:
Mhmm. And
John Strock:
They’re still sober. They’re still not drinking, and I’m just like, how do you do that? Like, I don’t know how I would have done it if I had not had the support that I had. You know? I just think I wouldn’t have cared enough. Yep. And just would have been over. You know? Yep. So it’s such a huge thing. I think it’s easy for people to run.
John Strock:
You know? And I don’t blame people for running. Yeah. But, when they say that, don’t leave before the miracle. Right? Like, don’t leave before the miracle happens. You know? Like
Trey Easley:
Yeah.
John Strock:
People that have stayed in our lives get to see us now, and we’re never perfect, but we’re, you know, we’re I think we’re better versions of what we were.
Trey Easley:
Oh, absolutely.
John Strock:
You know? And, it’s, it’s a wild thing. And and and like I said, everybody is so supportive once you once you talk about it. Just like everything else, you know, with IVF, depression, anything that you go through. Like, people just keep it so tight. But once you open up
Trey Easley:
Open up.
John Strock:
You realize that so many people out there deal with the same stuff. Yes. Absolutely. Takes, like, one person just to say, hey. You know? And not that everyone’s gonna come on Facebook and talk about it, but they’re gonna message you. Yeah. And you might grab grab a coffee with them, you know, and and I
Trey Easley:
I mean, that’s kinda how we met. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Similar stories, and we were connected that way. And, you know, it it’s and it’s like, you know, it’s like we go back ten years being able to talk about it because we know exactly where we were.
John Strock:
Instant fellowship.
Trey Easley:
Yeah. Yeah. So it is. And I wanted to go back real quick. You said okay. So you went to your AA meeting. You came out, and you took a drink.
John Strock:
Mhmm.
Trey Easley:
To obviously calm down the nerves and the anxiety or or whatever.
John Strock:
Yeah. Withdrawal. I mean, all of it. Yeah.
Trey Easley:
And, I remember my first appointment with the gastro guy, who was looking at my liver stuff. Right? And when he had told me that, you know, I had a form of cirrhosis and other things, First thing I did was go to the car and take three drinks. I took three shots of fireballs in my car.
John Strock:
Yeah.
Trey Easley:
And people were like, what? I’m like, that’s that’s that’s the truth. I mean, that’s just the way it is with, you know, especially when you’re heavily into it and you’re at especially towards the end, like, you’re just doing anything you can. And if I did have the similar you know, I would sleep as long as I could and stay in bed because my wife was already gone. Yeah. Because I knew as soon as I got up, I would have to take a drink just to stop the shaking
John Strock:
Yeah.
Trey Easley:
The dry heaves. People think I’m crazy, but, like, in between dry heaves, if I wanted to stop the dry heaves, I would have to take a couple shots.
John Strock:
It’s instant.
Trey Easley:
And it instantaneously stops. Right? But all it’s doing is prolonging everything and making and making things worse. So, yeah. And it’s unbelievable. And people hear these stories. Now the people that are going through it or been through it, they’re gonna understand, yep. You know. But the people, like, especially the families that are listening, they’re just gonna think, I can’t believe that. You know? Or my spouse or whoever, my mom, my dad, who they’re not that bad, but they look like they’re drinking a little heavy.
Trey Easley:
Well, you don’t know what they’re drinking behind the scenes, and that’s where, like, I would come and I would have, oh, I’d play it. Yeah. Sure. I’ll have a drink. Right? But I’d already had probably, you know, eight, ten before that, and I know I’ve got the bottle downstairs when everybody goes to bed. So I’ll play like I’m having a drink or two. Yep. You know?
John Strock:
Yep. Yeah. I would do like, I would drink when my wife would be at work. And then when she comes home, I make sure, like, I’ll be cooking dinner, and I’ll have an open beer. Yep. So if she smells anything at this, I’ll just start to just open this one. You know, that kind of stuff.
Trey Easley:
Yes. And you’re,
John Strock:
you know, going back to what you said about, like, how And
Trey Easley:
alcoholics don’t really drink beer.
John Strock:
Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It didn’t matter. I didn’t drink anything. It
Trey Easley:
did not matter. But it’s not like a drink of choice because it’s gonna fill you up before you can really be too. Especially if you’re, like, further on.
John Strock:
Mhmm.
Trey Easley:
Yeah. That’s true. Yeah. The beer is just kind of a a a
John Strock:
It’s just , yeah. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah.
Trey Easley:
But, yeah, I
John Strock:
I mean, it’s just such a crazy thing to go through. And one of the things that’s sort of, kind of been like a thing throughout my life, that I really started noticing throughout my alcoholism and my recovery, was I had this sort of feeling of, like, being othered. You know? I didn’t feel like everybody else.
Trey Easley:
Mhmm.
John Strock:
Right? And I could never describe that. I can never, like, pinpoint why. And I kinda felt that, like, throughout my life. And then when I stopped drinking, then I had that sort of, like, other feeling now with a stigma that I’ve attached to it. And so it made me not wanna go. I didn’t wanna see anybody. I didn’t wanna do anything. Yep.
John Strock:
And so it wasn’t until, you know, I could realize that I’m losing my train of thought here, like, I think we talked about. But it wasn’t till I kinda figured out what that was and what I when I’d mentioned earlier that I kinda went through, like, this whole mental health journey throughout my recovery and and my end of end of my alcoholism. And, you know, I’ve, in the last eighteen months, been diagnosed with ADHD, depression, and anxiety . I think, my whole life. Sure. And I realized that the anxiety and and the ADHD kinda removed me from, like, had a barrier between me and and other people Yeah. That I didn’t know was there because I didn’t know what those things were.
Trey Easley:
Right. Right.
John Strock:
Didn’t name what that was. But now that I kinda understand everything that’s happened, like, mentally, I’ve been in therapy, you know, since I, you know, I don’t know, for the last couple years. And it’s helped me understand why I felt that way. Yeah. And it wasn’t because of anything that I was doing. It’s because of something that I had that I didn’t realize. Sure. You know? So going through this recovery process has made me really look at mental health in a different way too.
John Strock:
Yep. It all kinda fits together. And I think knowing if you have ADHD that you’re more likely to become an alcoholic or an addict, you know, you’re you’re more impulsive, things like that. I don’t know. That that would have stopped me if I had known that, but it’s kinda like it makes you it helps you sort of justify your behavior in some ways, which is sort of an ego thing, and it helps you understand why you act certain ways and might do certain things and why you’re why you’re preclivity where you have a proclivity to certain things. You know?
Trey Easley:
Yeah. Absolutely. And it’s such a good point because, number one, you know, once you stop drinking or drugging, you start to feel your feelings. And when and you’re not used to it. Right? You’re not used to it. And so, yeah, all those feelings are to come rushing in. You’re not gonna know what to do with them. Mhmm.
Trey Easley:
But now I’m losing my train of thought. So, yeah, you’re having, well, we’ll cut this out because I’m I’m I’m asking something I wanted to say. Feel your feelings. Yeah. I’ll think of it. Yeah.
John Strock:
No. I’m trying to do the same stuff.
Trey Easley:
Yeah. So so yeah. So you’re you’re you’re starting to feel your feelings.
John Strock:
Yep.
Trey Easley:
And those things do crop up because I know for sure that I have, you know, at least a touch of ADHD. You know, I can see it, you know, in myself, and I had some stuff? You know, I kinda go back to, you know, when my mom passed away. She was killed in a car accident when I was 15, and it kinda that’s when I realized I’d really started, you know, using alcohol to cover that up.
John Strock:
Yeah.
Trey Easley:
So there’s always something that is the reason that you’re covering these things up, you know, I believe, and it’s really getting to the bottom of it. Mhmm. But when you had said you let’s go back to where you said how dangerous it was, right, that you stopped. Uh-huh. And I wanted to touch on this because, just to let everybody know. Right? So when it comes to a lot of drugs, if not most or all drugs, you can, I think I think, like, pain pills and things are a little different? You don’t wanna just take them cold turkey. Stop them cold turkey. But even, some of the heavier drugs, you can stop, and it’s okay.
Trey Easley:
You’re gonna go through withdrawals and stuff. But with alcohol, even my doctor told me, he said, do not stop cold turkey. He’s like, you can go into shock. You can get a stroke. Right? Your body will shut down and you know, which is the DTs, which is the shaking and the sweats and the Mhmm. You know, other stuff. And, so he told me to have all my drinks for the first day, then have that the next day, and then have that the next day. Yep.
Trey Easley:
And, well, having all my drinks. I mean, I was still hitting, like, then I was like, okay. So I can have 10 tonight. Yeah. I’ll cut back a little bit. And I made it all the way down to, I think, the day that I was having now, of course, our drinks, at least mine, were always, like, 90% alcohol. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Trey Easley:
You know,
John Strock:
you put
Trey Easley:
a little something on top of it just so people see you putting them something on top of it. Right? So mine my drinks were 90 tens, you know, and I was still consuming a tremendous amount of alcohol even when I was weaning down. Yeah. But I still only made it to probably the four big red cups of a day. And I was like, well, what’s one more? I’ll just have it tomorrow. Right? And then the cycle started again. Tomorrow. Yeah.
Trey Easley:
Yeah. The cycle started again. So it’s just that it’s so hard to stop. And it is really if you do, it really needs to be especially if you are feeling those DTs. Mhmm. Like, you do have those withdrawal symptoms like we were talking about with the dry heaps and the shaking and stuff. You have most likely crossed that line Mhmm. That you need a little bit more help.
John Strock:
Yeah. Yeah.
Trey Easley:
You know?
John Strock:
And it’s I mean, it’s it’s I’m so glad you brought it back up too because it’s such an important thing that people don’t know. I don’t think it’s the only withdrawal you can die from, but it’s certainly the the the most likely that
Trey Easley:
you can die from it. You
John Strock:
know? Which people don’t know. Like, they think, of course, people go to heroin and things like that, but alcohol is the one that will kill you.
Trey Easley:
Yep.
John Strock:
You know? And it kills more people in The United States than any other drug.
Trey Easley:
Oh, yeah.
John Strock:
And, yeah. It’s a scary thing. And I didn’t realize how dangerous that was until, till I got into therapy, and my therapist is like, are you kidding me? It’s like, you should not be here. Like, you should not be here. Like you, I just went straight cold turkey. And I did a few times. You know? It wasn’t the first time I stopped.
Trey Easley:
Yeah.
John Strock:
But when I did, it was straight cold turkey. And, and it is, I suffered through it. You know, it is it’s it’s I never wanna go back to that feeling of the shakes and the sweats. Yes. I mean, god, it’s the worst thing in the world. You know? But, that’s it, it’s important to remember that stuff. You know? You know? It’s important to sort of tell your story to yourself. And, you know, a lot of people say if you’re thinking about drinking, you know, just play that tape forward.
John Strock:
What happens if I don’t drink? Okay. If I take that one drink, what happens after that? Yeah. Either I failed in my sobriety and I start over or I have a second drink and a third drink. And I’ve already had one, so I wanna have five more. Right. You know? So it gets tricky like that.
Trey Easley:
And it’s you know? Then that’s kinda the the and that’s that was what I wanted to go back to earlier was, when you you your therapist kinda was telling you these things, and you’re like,
John Strock:
oh, if
Trey Easley:
I would have known that, at least it kind of explains some stuff. Right? Well, what kinda turned me over was something similar, but it was, you know, when I had gone away, I went to rehab for forty five days and, voluntarily, you know, and it was the best thing I ever did. And matter of fact, the reason it was forty five is because I extended twice because I wanted to make sure Yeah. That I was good.
John Strock:
Good for you.
Trey Easley:
And, but I remember because I, you know, I didn’t want anything to do with AA. And I went. I did some paid stuff that helped me for a little while, but I went back because I didn’t continue it. You know, as far as stopping my own, I mean, I might have tried, but that’s it just wasn’t gonna work. Yeah. It wasn’t you know? And you always tell yourself that. Right? You always tell yourself, well, okay. I can do this. You know? After, you know, Saint Patty’s Day is coming up.
Trey Easley:
So after Saint Patty’s Yeah. It’s always but there’s always a drinking holiday coming up no matter what. Right? So you tell yourself. But I was sitting in rehab. It was, like, the third day, and the AA group would always meet after all the classes. And, they would always ask, hey. Hey, Dre. You wanna come sit down? I don’t want anything to do with that, man.
Trey Easley:
And, I said, okay. So, like, on the third day, I was just bored. And I went and sat down, and they had had I think the reason I went is, like because they went through the whole book, and they were at the very end, and they’re like, we’re starting over at the beginning. Mhmm. This guy was very thorough. We went from the very first page to the very first lines of what an alcoholic is and what, you know, the definition of alcoholism and all this stuff and the obsession of the mind. Right? And then we read the first seven pages that day of the doctor’s opinion. Mhmm.
Trey Easley:
Right? I mean, this book was written in, what, 1936 at that. Right?
John Strock:
Old. Yeah.
Trey Easley:
So this but those first seven pages made me realize that,
John Strock:
Okay.
Trey Easley:
I’m not just an f. Right? Yeah. There’s something different about me and the makeup of my body. There’s a reason I could out drink most of my friends and still look like everything’s going fine.
John Strock:
Mhmm.
Trey Easley:
Right? And it kind of explained a lot of stuff, and I was like,
John Strock:
Okay.
Trey Easley:
I can live with that. Can I live with that? I’m not just some drunk. Yeah. You know, some losers because that’s never the case. Mhmm. There’s always something there. So once I read that so what I did was after I read that, I was like, man, this helped me. So I would watch people at night come in from, they’d come in and go to detox.
Trey Easley:
You know, their families would bring them in or whatever. So the next day when they got kind of sobered up a little bit, I’d go in there and I’d try I’d say, hey. You, you know, come with me. I wanna read you something real quick. And I would every day, I would read these guys, whoever would come with me, those first seven pages, hoping that it would change Awesome. Change their life.
John Strock:
Yeah.
Trey Easley:
But what I didn’t realize was you know, this was pointed out to me later was I was actually helping myself
John Strock:
Yeah.
Trey Easley:
At the same time. Right? Because as you get yourself out of your own head to help someone else is when you really start that recovery process, I feel like.
John Strock:
For sure. And it’s cool that you say that too because you didn’t get here by yourself. Right? Yeah. And those guys didn’t get there, but wherever they are now Yeah. Like, you were part of that recovery.
Trey Easley:
Yeah.
John Strock:
And that does feel good. Yeah. Yeah. Feels good. And it helps you to reiterate that stuff with other people and to share that with someone for the first time is pretty cool.
Trey Easley:
You know?
John Strock:
Yeah. Yeah. I love that. Yeah. And I, you know, I did AA for, like I said, like, five years, but, you know, I’ll be frank. I was never, like I never worked steps. I never had a sponsor, but I went to those rooms a couple times a week for five years to be around people like me.
Trey Easley:
Yeah.
John Strock:
And I still got so much out of that. It was, like, a layer of accountability. You know, I didn’t wanna have to go back to that group and say, hey. Listen. I fucked up. Excuse me. Sure. You know, I didn’t wanna go back to that.
John Strock:
So that was another layer of accountability, you know, and it was powerful walking up the steps to that meeting, you know, and, and just walking in there and just being around, like you said, being around people like
Trey Easley:
like you.
John Strock:
Yeah. And you realize they’re also just like people you know that aren’t alcoholics. You know? We’re all like and there’s doctors, there’s homeless people, there’s everything in there. You know? So it’s really an interesting place, and it’s one where, you know, I would always recommend people give it a shot, you know, because whether they do the full thing or not. And I feel sort of, you know, like, maybe I still will do the twelfth. Maybe I’ll, maybe I’ll still work at it. But yeah. And I I, you know, I sort of feel like I, you know, I should have done that.
John Strock:
But, but at the same time, I’m I’m I’m in a good place in my recovery, and AA is a part of my story.
Trey Easley:
Right.
John Strock:
That’s very important to me, and I still, you know, keep in touch with people and things like that. And it was for me, you know, no one else in my life was getting sober. Like and I was with all these partiers, and I was like, how am I the only one?
Trey Easley:
Yeah.
John Strock:
I found out that, one of my really good friends. I have two now two good buddies that have one that was maybe a year ahead of me Mhmm. Lives on the West Coast. You know. I know him really well, but he just lives far away. Right? But we we we talk. And another of my friends came about, you know, in the middle of COVID, he called me out of nowhere. And I don’t really talk to him much. He had moved away to Richmond. And he was like, man, I gotta stop drinking.
John Strock:
He’s like, what? Do you mind if I ask
Trey Easley:
you about it? Yep.
John Strock:
And I talked to him, and now he’s four or five years sober. Yeah. You know? And so the three of us are on a text together. We just talk and check-in and Yeah. So I don’t have anybody that’s immediate, like, right here, which is, you know, it’s unfortunate, you know, but I can I I’m sure I can find something like that? But at least I have some sort of network, you know? Yes. And then the other kinda cool thing is when I was in the middle of my drinking, I was, you know, far from even thinking about quitting. I was flying somewhere for work. I was flying to California, and I had a layover in Denver for, like, five hours.
John Strock:
So for me, I’m like, yeah. I’m at the airport for five hours. I’m going on a work trip. I don’t have to do anything when I get there. Yep. What am I gonna do for five hours?
Trey Easley:
I’m going
John Strock:
to the bar.
Trey Easley:
That’s right. I
John Strock:
I went to that bar, and I sat there. The bartender’s name was Meatloaf. It was crazy. It was fun. I sat next to this guy named Tate for, like, five hours drinking. He was coming back from Vegas from a bachelor party. I’m going out, you know, we’re and we’re just sitting there for hours drinking. We start talking or, you know, hanging out.
John Strock:
We start talking about music. He’s like, you know, turns me onto this one of his friends’ bands. So I end up going to see in DC, like, the next week. And we just connected over that. Right? We stayed friends just from being drunk together. We just stayed friends and connected on Facebook, whatever. And then as I’m, like, in the throes of, like, the end of my you know, right before I started my recovery, I start seeing him posting. He’d come out of a coma.
John Strock:
He’s in a coma for three days from benzos and alcohol. Mhmm. He almost died. His wife and kids have left him. Yep. And now he’s on the sober track. And I was just kinda watching him. I was like, oh my god.
Trey Easley:
It’s good.
John Strock:
I almost died. Yeah. I would drink with this guy for four hours. You know? We’re the same. Yep. And I was like, god. And so that’s when I was first one of the first people I kinda latched on to, and I said I started reaching out to Tate. And no shit, like, to this day, and it’s been, you know, in my sobriety almost nine years, every single morning, the first thing I get on my phone is a text from Tate.
John Strock:
Every single morning. I’ve met the guy one time in person.
Trey Easley:
You know? That’s awesome.
John Strock:
I’ve talked to him once on the phone, but I I every single day, I get this note from Tate Yeah. Who lived in Wisconsin. And it’s always that way I start my day, and it’s all about gratitude. Yeah. All things about gratitude. It’s just really cool to have seen us where we were there and not to have, like, like, he helped me get here because he was in such a bad place, you know. Right. And I saw myself in him.
John Strock:
And, you know, I didn’t wanna end up there. You
Trey Easley:
know? Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. I mean, that’s powerful. Yeah. You know, it’s funny how these things just kind of pop up. You know? And, yeah, that’s very powerful. Mhmm.
Trey Easley:
I think that and I mean, I know people that go to AA, and they don’t even they’re not even drinkers. Yeah. They go there because they like the way it makes them a better person
John Strock:
Yeah.
Trey Easley:
In life, in general, period.
John Strock:
Yeah.
Trey Easley:
So yeah. I mean, I highly recommend it to people, especially in early recovery just because you have to have that support group. Same. You know, you get those phone numbers when you go in there and you call. You talk. You have to. Because you know, and I like it, I even told those graduates. I said if cravings come, they come for, like, ten minutes.
Trey Easley:
You can get through it. Call somebody. Get your mind off of it. Someone, you know, someone who’s been through it who’s not in early recovery but has at least a year or two under their belt, they’re gonna help you get through that craving.
John Strock:
Yeah.
Trey Easley:
So it’s important to have that support group because otherwise, you’re just white knuckling, trying to get through it on your own. Mhmm. And all you’re just you’re one stressful day away from possibly picking up that drink. Right. Yeah.
John Strock:
Yeah. I mean, it’s I mean, the network is so important. And the cool thing about it is is you don’t have to know a person
Trey Easley:
No.
John Strock:
Very well to connect really quickly around recovery Yep. Or around helping someone out of recovery or whatever it is. It’s like you’re like, oh my god. We’re the same. You know? Even if we’re not, we are, you know, in that way. And if you share that one thing that’s so big in your life, it’s just you’re, it’s like an instant, like, you know, like, we’re here because of this. You know? Yeah. Like, I haven’t met you in person before.
Trey Easley:
You know? Yeah.
John Strock:
But I’ve respected you, and I’ve known who you are. And I was excited to come here today. So it’s just really cool to sit here and talk to someone that you almost hardly know, but we could hear all day and talk to you.
Trey Easley:
Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. And just one thing I wanted to say because if you mentioned something that I think people struggle with, especially in early sobriety is they don’t wanna go out because they don’t wanna have to explain away why they’re not drinking.
John Strock:
Yeah.
Trey Easley:
And in my experience, as long as most people don’t even give a shit, to tell you the truth. They’re worried about their problems and them having drinks, and you’ll get asked, hey. You need something to drink. No. I’m good. Yeah. You know? Or, you know, I’d always carry, like, some kinda clear drink like a soda or Sprite or something. And I would do that to kinda hide the fact that I wasn’t drinking.
John Strock:
Yeah. Same.
Trey Easley:
But then I was like, that’s you know, like you said, it’s that’s stupid. I’m not doing it anymore. Yeah. And now if anybody asked me about me not drinking, I would explain it like this. I said, if you had a table, this super long table that had all the alcohol that you would drink in your life on it, I got to the end of my table a lot faster than everybody else. That’s all. I’ve already got the end of my table.
John Strock:
Yeah. I like it.
Trey Easley:
Yeah. You know? So they’re like, oh, I’ve never really thought about it like that. Like, yeah.
John Strock:
Yeah. I packed all my drinking into here. That’s right. You can spread it over. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love that.
John Strock:
Yeah.
Trey Easley:
Yep. But, yeah, I think
John Strock:
and, yeah, I would recommend AA to anyone beginning too. It’s just an instant network. Yeah. I just think it’s all a cool thing. Yep.
Trey Easley:
So now because in my house, it’s a wide open conversation. My daughters, you know, they know all about it. We use it so you can get through anything. You know, I kinda I I I keep it like that as far as, you know, even at your lowest. Yeah. You know? And they know that. And they still mean, I’m four and a half years sober. They still think that my daughter just asked me the other day.
Trey Easley:
She’s like, why are you doing what you are doing in the garage for so long? Right? Because that’s where I used to go.
John Strock:
Yeah. And,
Trey Easley:
you know, I was yeah. I used to get kinda, you know, snippy about that. But listen. Like you said, we’ve lost it took years and years of losing their trust. Yeah. And to gain it back takes years and years.
John Strock:
It does.
Trey Easley:
You know? And then there’s always a question. You know? There’s always gonna be a question in someone’s mind. You know? And that’s out of support and love. Yeah. It really is. It’s not that they’re trying to catch you because they don’t want to catch you, and then it’s all over it’s starting all over again. Yeah. You know, they just wanna make sure you’re alright.
Trey Easley:
So yeah. That’s true. And I know you have a couple kids and two couple boys. Right?
John Strock:
Yeah. Two two young boys. You know, I, so I I got sober when I was 40 years old.
Trey Easley:
Mhmm.
John Strock:
Right? And I didn’t have that at twenty sixteen, and then we had our first son in 2018. Okay. So my kids never saw any of it. Yep. They still see the bad parts of me. You know? That’s still, like, the same person, but, but they will never hopefully, they’ll never see me drunk. Yeah. And and I feel like I’m I’m really equipped because of what I’ve been through to sort of teach them, just just to make them aware of what what can happen and
Trey Easley:
Oh, yeah.
John Strock:
What you know, just to be careful and to not be just about themselves, but look, you know, pay attention to your friends.
Trey Easley:
You know? Yep. You know,
John Strock:
This disease affects people in all kinds of ways. Suicide too. You know? Oh, yeah. It’s a lot of people die from suicide. And Or I was never suicidal in this in this thing, but I also but at the same time, I didn’t care if I died. Or I thought I thought my wife would be better off if I died.
Trey Easley:
Right.
John Strock:
But I wasn’t gonna do it myself. But if I can walk in and that tree branch falls on me, that’s probably a good thing.
Trey Easley:
Right.
John Strock:
You know what I mean? That’s that’s sort of mindset
Trey Easley:
Yeah.
John Strock:
Of course. For a
Trey Easley:
It’s been a long time. But, yeah. Yeah. It’s definitely a bad mindset to be in, but the reward you get when you’re out of it Mhmm. And that you know, especially when you can start to help other people or, like, your family, like you said, you think you’re just hurting yourself. I thought I was just hurting myself. Mhmm. You know? But in turn, you’re you’re you’re killing your family.
Trey Easley:
You’re, you know, because they’re all talking. They you know, eventually, they’re gonna know because as alcoholics, we can hide it pretty well, but sometimes you overshoot the mark. Yeah. You know? Yeah. And you get into that slur and you’re like, damn. Yeah. You know? And then they catch you, and then they know. And, you know, it’s just such a bad cycle.
Trey Easley:
Mhmm.
John Strock:
And it is a cycle. You know? It is. Especially if you’re chasing something like anxiety and, you know, like, if I’m not drinking if I like, first of all, like, a lot of my anxiety did not get better because of my drinking. It got so much worse. Yeah. It just felt better for a little while, but it’s just compounding. You know? Mhmm. So when it came back, it would be just times a hundred.
John Strock:
You know? It was pretty wild. But, I like to go back also, like, what you were saying about being out and, you know, having a drink in your hand or whatever. This disease or, you know, maybe it’s just the way I’m wired and, like, a lot of us are, but it makes you a selfish person. Like and I never would have thought I was selfish. I never would have thought, like, anyone would think I was selfish. But then at the same time, I sure think about myself a lot. When I’m out, I’m like, gosh. These people are everybody in here wondering why I’m not drinking.
Trey Easley:
Yeah. Everybody in here
John Strock:
I think I’m an alcoholic.
Trey Easley:
Oh, yeah.
John Strock:
Meanwhile, nobody fucking knows I’m there. Yep. And if they do, they don’t care.
Trey Easley:
They don’t care, buddy.
John Strock:
You know? It’s wild. It’s just wild what you do to yourself. So it’s so funny.
Trey Easley:
And to be honest with you, you have to have that selfish trait in my mind if you’re gonna get sober. Yeah. Because you know and this was an earlier recovery for me, especially when I got back. Then I remember my wife sitting there looking at me one day, and she’s we’re sitting there talking, and she’s like she’s like, I’m not happy. She’s like, you’re like a roommate. And I had to have a conversation with her that I have to focus on right now. Yeah. Because if I don’t focus on me, if I don’t focus on my meetings, if I don’t focus on being sober Mhmm.
Trey Easley:
Then I might as well be dead anyway, and I won’t be around. And then where are we gonna be? You know? So and and you have to be selfish in the beginning and be able to to hopefully try and explain that to the person that you’re with because they’re gonna see they’ll see a bit of a change, especially when you start like, if you’re heavy in a I did ninety and ninety, you know, 90 meetings, ninety days. And you’re gonna latch on to those people because they understand you. Mhmm. You can tell stories in that room that, you know, normal people will say, you’re out of your freaking mind. And everybody’s like, oh, yeah. And yeah. Yeah.
Trey Easley:
You know? I always say that if everybody in AA put their problems on a table, you’d want yours back most likely. Oh, for sure. Yeah. You hear a lot of
John Strock:
stuff in there.
Trey Easley:
Yeah.
John Strock:
Yeah. Lots of stuff. A lot of stuff is coming. Yeah.
Trey Easley:
But that selfish part is in and I’ve you, yeah, you have to focus on yourself.
John Strock:
Yeah. It’s survival.
Trey Easley:
And I think family members also have to understand that you just need to be there to help if, you know, if you’re serious about helping whoever’s in, you know, in your life who’s trying to get sober, because it is hard Mhmm. To be there, but understand that they’ve got a little they’ve got a long journey. Yeah.
John Strock:
There’s work to be done.
Trey Easley:
There’s some work to be done for sure.
John Strock:
Yeah. And this is another cool topic too because I think, you know, especially when you’re in it. Like, I didn’t want anybody to know. Like I said, you know, I was so ashamed. I didn’t want anybody. And so when my wife, you know, when we talked to him, I said, look. I don’t want you to talk to anybody about it. I just want you to know, let me just deal with it.
John Strock:
We’ll get past it, and I don’t want you to. I don’t want anyone else to know why and or so I shut her down from talking to other people. Right. So I made it so that she could not release what she had. Yes. You know? Because she needed to talk to someone besides me.
Trey Easley:
Yes. She absolutely does.
John Strock:
You know? And I didn’t . If she did, I wouldn’t have been angry, but I asked her not to Yep. For me.
Trey Easley:
Yeah.
John Strock:
And meanwhile, I was putting her in a really bad spot because now she’s got this, and now she’s got my secret. I don’t have my secret anymore.
Trey Easley:
Yeah. I gave
John Strock:
to her.
Trey Easley:
Good point.
John Strock:
You know? And I didn’t let her share that. You know? And that looking back, that’s one of the worst things I did in my recovery was to Right. To shut her down because I’m the one going through this. You know, you just, you know, be here. Meanwhile, they’re all going through anyone in your house, anybody that’s around you that’s close to you is going through it too. Absolutely. I think that’s very important. Yeah.
John Strock:
I think it’s also important, like, you know, if I come across a buddy of mine who needs help, my wife’s always like, hey. Listen. If his wife needs to talk to somebody that’s been through this from the recovery side, but not in recovery Mhmm.
Trey Easley:
You know,
John Strock:
I’m happy to talk to her too. And I think that’s a really cool way to outreach too. This is something another piece that people don’t focus on is Yeah. Is the people that are close to you. You know? And that that’s that’s why, like, was it, what’s the, the sort of like AA, but it’s for people who
Trey Easley:
Al Anon.
John Strock:
Al Anon.
Trey Easley:
Al Anon and there’s Alatine.
John Strock:
Yes. Aloutine. Yeah. So for people who are dealing with alcoholics in their lives, you can, you know, go to Al Anon Alatine to sort of be in that community, which is really cool too, which is cool.
Trey Easley:
It is. And I think it’s helpful for my wife to never go. I mean, I would never go. I mean, I would never go. Yeah. I even had her read the section of the book to the wives, and all she did was bawl.
John Strock:
Yeah. I mean,
Trey Easley:
so, I mean, I wanted her to go, and everybody always suggested she go, but she just didn’t, she didn’t want to. Yeah. And I’m not gonna try and force her to do it. But I know it’s helped a lot of people. Yeah. You will find out that there’s not much you can do. Yeah. You have to, you have to be, they kind of help you work on yourself and, you know, maybe, you know, keep them on some sort of path.
Trey Easley:
But if you think you’re gonna go in there so you can make them stop drinking, it’s probably that’s probably not gonna happen.
John Strock:
Yeah. Yeah. That’s what I’ve found and I always think and see that, you know, no one’s gonna recover until they’re ready to recover. Yep.
Trey Easley:
Until And
John Strock:
they’re not gonna it’s not gonna be like this revelation. You know, it’s not gonna be like they’re awful. That was enough clarity, but something’s gonna happen or Yeah. Maybe they will have clarity. Maybe that I’m sure that has happened to people. It didn’t happen to me. I’d have someone else step in.
Trey Easley:
Definitely not common.
John Strock:
Yeah. So but I think you’ve gotta have that. And then, and then once it’s out, it’s so liberating. You know? You think, like, you know, before you start talking about it, it’s like, oh my god. What are people gonna think? No one’s gonna wanna be around me. Blah blah blah. But then you do it, and it’s liberating, and people cheer for you. Yeah. Or people say, hey. Man. You know, like you said, my dad or my brother or my, you know, somebody else in their life needs help.
Trey Easley:
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
John Strock:
I think One of
Trey Easley:
the first thing a person thinks of. Yeah. Yeah. You know? It’s true.
John Strock:
You know? And, you know, we didn’t really have anybody to go to when I was going through it, but my parents live in this little town called Hussle, Virginia out in Essex County. And there’s a guy there that they knew who had been in recovery for a long time. They said, gotta call, gotta call this guy. And, you know, he and my parents said, do you mind if our son calls you? And he said, yeah. I’m happy to do that for you guys, but I don’t wanna be. I don’t want my identity to be the addict or the recovery guy. So, you know, I’m happy to help, but I don’t want that to be my entire identity. Sure. You know, which I thought was cool, you know.
John Strock:
And I called him and he was great. I don’t really know him very well, but he, you know, he helped me through those first couple days. You know? And the numbers I got in my first AME, you know, people were calling me. You know? I gave my number out and, you know, they called me.
Trey Easley:
Right. Pretty cool. I think that that’s huge. Most people don’t give their number out, but you’re not gonna call most likely, you’re not gonna call anybody in that list. Yeah. Yeah. You know? Or if you do, it’s gonna be after you drink, which is right. The wrong way to do it, but it just seems to be the way it happens.
Trey Easley:
So if you give your number out, you’re kind of, you know, you’re locked into people calling you.
John Strock:
Yeah. Exactly.
Trey Easley:
That’s a good idea.
John Strock:
I also love, like, love what you were talking about with just how it affects family and all that. And, it was my trainer that year. It’ll come back. Yeah. But, I’ll you know? But, yeah, I mean, there’s you know, just thinking about being selfish. Like, when I would if I was at a period of time where I wasn’t working and I was drinking, I would be bored. And I just, you know what? I’m just gonna go for a drive. Yep.
John Strock:
You know? I get in a car and go for a drive. Got no going nowhere. Yeah. Just driving. Drunk.
Trey Easley:
Drunk. Yep.
John Strock:
You know? Yeah. It’s like
Trey Easley:
and, you
John Strock:
I was very fortunate, and the people around me were very fortunate that, you know, nothing ever happened in that way. But, I mean, if I had gotten pulled over every time, I’d have, like, a hundred DUIs.
Trey Easley:
Sure. Oh, yeah. I, yeah, I always say, I mean, I probably could’ve wiped my family out several times. Oh, yeah. You know, unfortunately or fortunately, it didn’t happen, but, unfortunately, that I was I actually did that, you know. And I’m you know, and there’s nothing you do to change any of that except going forward. And I think people have to realize that too is everything you’ve done up until this point, you have to own and you have to move forward with it and really focus on how you’re gonna recover from it versus really thinking and worrying about the past too much. Yeah.
Trey Easley:
Because it’s not gonna help. Yeah. You know, it’s not gonna help to do that.
John Strock:
That’s true. Yeah. I think that the way the past is helpful is, like, keeping it green, like you say. Like, you know, just remembering what
Trey Easley:
it was like. Remembering.
John Strock:
Yeah. But then move on.
Trey Easley:
Yeah. Yeah.
John Strock:
Let’s go forward. Yeah.
Trey Easley:
I like that. Well, John, I really appreciate you coming out, man. It’s been a great conversation. I know we could probably sit here for hours.
John Strock:
Definitely did.
Trey Easley:
Yeah. But, but it’s, you know, this was extremely powerful. I think it’s super helpful, for people out there, for people who are early in recovery, not even in recovery, and definitely the families. Mhmm. So we really appreciate you being on.
John Strock:
Yeah. Man, it’s been a pleasure. I’m I’m when you asked me to come on, I was like, hell, yeah. I was really stoked to talk
Trey Easley:
to you.
John Strock:
And I just love what you guys are doing, man. Anything that’s out there that makes people, one, realize they’re not alone. Two, realize that there is something after all this. You know, no matter how bad it is, there’s something after it. You know? Something better. So I love that you guys are sharing that message. And one thing, I would like to do, and we’ve we’ve I’ve mentioned this to you a while back, but I would like to create some sort of group within our industry. Because I think our industry real estate is a place where there’s certainly a lot of drinking around.
John Strock:
It’s easy to do there’s all these events, and you don’t you can do whatever you want
Trey Easley:
to schedule. I mean, that’s what got me. What it did that’s kinda what put me over the line. Yeah. Right? When I was doing electric work, I had to get up at four in the morning. You know, I had to go work in a hot panel or, you know, electricity is not good when you’re shaking. Yeah. So but it was, oh, I don’t have a boss anymore, and I don’t I can go out and play golf and drink during the middle
John Strock:
of the day.
Trey Easley:
And, you know, all those things, they add up until you finally cross that invisible line that most people don’t know about. There is an invisible line you cross that you can’t go back.
John Strock:
Yep. Absolutely right.
Trey Easley:
Yep. So, yeah, this industry is tough. I think it’s a wonderful idea.
John Strock:
Yeah. So whatever that looks like, but, you know, I’ll keep you on post and keep you posted. But I think there’s just like, anytime you get people together that have a common issue that, you know, are doing the same sort of stuff, like, it’s always good. So absolutely. Yeah. I mean, I appreciate you so much, Trey. Congrats on your four and a half years.
Trey Easley:
I appreciate it.
John Strock:
Amazing. And your story is incredible, and Thanks. I’m glad you’re still here.
Trey Easley:
Awesome, buddy. Alright. Well, thanks for joining us today on Resilience Reborn, and we’ll see you next time.
